is that I want that mirror in the corridor to be seen…by all of those lovers, all of those lovers. The saga of that surrender, offered on display. I want to be seen naked licking that floor. Most probably by everyone important in my life. My mother. I do want her to know that I am a masturbator in this way. I need those people to be making love without me. I need jane to know that I love how she makes love without me, without my knowledge, could be at any time. I need every lover who has moved onto other lovers. I crave being subjected to celibacy…being left of myself. Some deep childhood drama there. I want to be left alone in that room – I want the women to surround me as I face myself.
must let go now.
you are a dear. i want to ask you to meet me here, to talk to me here.
to victoria g