Experiencing the erotic beauty of her No is a deep theme for me; reaching for inner release into withdrawing all violence from my desire in any subtle form it may take. Including my competitiveness or any inclination to transgress or to resist No. This is all part of vast healing process re rape…and the gentle way is to surrender to her autonomy in its full beauty and pain…the promise of self loving as the only release…
Deeply submissive space of craving. Inherent subtext is the homosexuality of masturbation…release of mama as space of comfort
I learn to nurse myself
2
As part of this
of my learning and teaching
Is the desire for men to know what I do. — esp the men who tuck the women I love… The men to whom she submits and surrenders and receives. Full mouth open – this is me – I must show him
3
I recognize that i left all of my semen on the mirror. I said I wanted it and then when i let go did not – didn’t go there…that is one thing the picture shows. I didn’t suck myself up…I left my desire unfulfilled, in front of you. As I gradually relax and forgive myself, I can let go into the bliss of receiving my gift. I can be alone; I may ask someone to be with me of they choose.
4
Last night I orgasmed looking at your vulva. I felt and accepted that you may spread your vulva for whomever you want. Now I am making love looking at myself here.