the sensation of relaxing into the simple truth which is to let all aught melt into the long night. the flowing thought sensation of how beautiful it is to encounter woman as whom I masturbate with and for; to whom I make love not by drinking her or penetrating her rather by exposing myself to her. Acknowledging her. Admission to myself of the knowledge that this is what I know I need and want. To be the masturbator in front of her, her magnificent sex, her profound power to choose, and to honor my request, my offer to myself, my gift to myself, my commitment, as you do.

sensation of: if I can be honest with just one woman about licking my mirrors clean before I know I am ready to fuck, I will give myself my gift. I will give all men…mankind…humanity…my gift. Give myself my gift of…this perhaps being a bold reflection that can focus me into my own reflection…facing my existence…that moment when I must and then gently invite myself to…to actually look in that mirror and see.

Every woman in the world free to fuck anyone but me is what it takes. I love that we won’t fuck and I won’t get my mouth on your labia, that this isn’t even a potential, till you decide that I have honestly taken back what I have left on the mirrors, which may be impossible. Or it might take years or decades or I might not finish.

Meanwhile I crave cunt and I accept her when iI can. I crave the love of women, which I love to share back with them by licking their sweet buttery assholes. I love to fuck and to moan my pleasure out and to explore her deep loving interior with my cock, knowing I will leave my pleasure inside her.

And then I come back to my mirror. I see the truth of my mirror and I am reminded of my promise, and sometimes I get naked and lick. And as you know I keep leaving more cum on those mirrors, prolonging my ecstasy and self-exposure. I can look at the image of your vulva, Neisha, imagine your scent and the vivid delight of sucking your labia, something I offer you and that you may receive at any time, and in you I maintain the heart of my understanding with myself and the heart of my delight.

I am about to get naked and lick where Neal spurted all over my mirror.

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