Follow Through

Hi, Chris.

I want to share what happened after I sent the past two messages. Honesty in words melts me…I got to that spot with you, or rather started there from the moment I tuned into your spirit and felt the space to open up to myself.

I like to penetrate myself, and I guide myself to look at my face as the penetration happens. To meet myself with gentle love in the eyes. I have such a delicate relationship with penetrating myself. I should do it so much more — I can, and I don’t always. I have been lately. I did in a beautiful session with Beth that I want to share about with you.

I did this afternoon. I devoted my afternoon to making love to me. Penetrated with a finger size plug, I watched my face, I sat down on it. I rocked on it, sitting up, with mirrors in front of me or behind me if I focus the courage and look…and relax into my eyes if only for a moment. Take a look at who I am.

I wanted to fuck myself with something bigger. In the moment I know that, I tune into Jane. I want to thank her for her erotic companionship. The past few days I’ve been wanting to share with her what I wanted to call biological compersion — appreciating the beauty of what her body can do, of what penetration she can take, and does. Of how beautiful she must feel.

I’ve recognized a few times…I just cannot match that. She opens up so deeply and allows him in so fully…I just don’t do that.

I got that bigger thing to fuck myself with, out of where it was, in the shower: a purple penis-shaped dildo made of silicone. I dropped it into a huge pot of boiling water that I leave going it the winter. It gets nice and hot. I pick it up with some tongs and carry it to my portal. I lube my ass with olive oil, then this hot thing, and I gently sit down on it. The heat pressing against me is piercing. I press gently, squatting down on it.

Gradually I work it into myself as it loses a degree or two of temperature and is now more bearable, though my asshole is a ring of fire. I penetrate another few millimeters and look for my face in a nearby mirror.

I’m penetrated and going deeper and it’s hot and that makes me want or need to relax around it. My core drops some tension and the penetration settles in. I am sitting upright, my feet pressed together.

I begin to rock on the hot thing that’s penetrating me. That feels better than I was expecting and in one gesture I begin to rock furiously and pull my feet in close, sitting upright with my knees dropped open, watching this happen to me…I fuck hard and deep, thrusting back and forth pressed into the floor.

I rest for a few moments and then I do it again, this time deeper and I am groaning and roaring in pleasure. I’m doing it. I’m really fucking myself, the sensation is like piercing trapped bubbles of energy that release as pleasure and motion. I can do this anytime I want.

Any time I am ready.

I am not sure how I ended up at my desk — maybe to send an email. Still penetrated, legs straddled around the corner of my desk chair. I orgasm here often. It’s about to happen again. I’ve been holding my seed for two days, filling up, and now I’ve fucked myself deeply. I have fucked into myself and I am open and free and still penetrated deeply.

I begin to climax. I get to the point where it’s simply going to happen and relax into the experience. I relax around the penetration and let my feelings go. So beautiful. My whole being pulsates, clasping the hot penetration, grasping hold of it then relaxing onto it and forgetting it’s there. My existence is for the purpose of creating this semen that’s about to emerge from my pelvis, and it does.

I choose to catch myself in my hand. I have a mirror handy though I want to feel the warm jets. I was not expecting such a beautiful, full ejaculation, which fountains out of me. My hand is there to catch the spurts, a bit beyond my hand too, and I cum and keep cumming, throbbing out a deep, delightful ejaculation on the waves of orgasm.

When my semen lands in my palm I always drink myself. On the mirror, it might stay for a while. In my hand, almost always my left hand, its immediate destination is to be smelled and then to be licked or sucked up. When the pulses pause, I raise my hand and sniff in deeply, then I feed myself. I slurp in a big mouthful, fresh and slippery and sweet from deep in my core, the deeper, sweeter semen squeezed out of me, by my own love.

I hold my semen in my mouth as I prepare to take a shower and step under the piercing, steamy jets of water with my mouth full of my cum, my tongue swishing and the alive liquid that I am holding. & finally my body swallows and I stop the universe around me as this happens, my fingers clasping the plastic walls of the shower, surrounded by heat and water in absolute solitude.

w/love & gratitude for the space you give me to be myself.

I know how much you love me and the feeling is beautiful.


Return to homepage