a lot of self kidj


my deeper promise is my solitary promise, the year I grant myself after a year of exclusive witnessed masturbation. while I am here in witness phase, it seems daunting. The depth of my erotic pleasure is so tuned to showing myself mirroring, and to witness fucking. Then there are my profound moments alone. Tho in all sincerity and as you now :: propelled by the pleasure of the women in my life. Then, the mirror is the mirror is me.

This is a kind of birth/death into myself. Sometimes I astound myself at my ability to put myself on display. I leave the spattered mirrors as expression, outcome, evidence of what I do and who I am.

with self love



I just stood naked in a mirror, wearing only the scarf you gave me
among other thank you’s

you & T singing me that birthday song w/references to mirrors

sometimes i’m astonished what you know about me

& your love.

in this way – in this moment – you reflect my beauty.



Hi Patria,

May I share w/ you about my Mirror Tantra?


i want to suck your snatch
a thought – about getting there together.

im on a pagan retreat and had sex last night (with a willing
participant) for the first time in 1 1/2 years. When i was lying down
for sleep i noticed this huge underlying sense of guilt/shame as if I
had done something wrong and/or i was wrong for doing something. ;/ it
was the most peculiar thing. i think it has something to do with the
idea that i was brought up with, something about girls shouldn’t
because it only brings problems-disease/pregnancy/judgement and that
they should only with someone ‘permanent” because at least then they
have someone to share the blame/shame with.
fucked up.



u got it and you took the step.

fucked and felt yourself.

my intention now is to step naked into the mirror

tho for some reason it’s taking extra bravery tonight.

a lot of self kidj judgment (that is a typo the word kid came out of my hands)

childhood self judgment.

i make a conscious choice to feel & if I choose to let go of that.

I stand naked before what created me.

I masturbated with a friend Friday night – Marisa, the woman I know through the Betty Dodson video project. I mostly fucked my ass, then spilt onto a mirror, which I still have, and want to show you.

Return to homepage