a session where I am witnessed by three dressed women. I see them seated on tall stools & I am on the floor.
they speak explicitly to one another, not to me, about what they are seeing and how they are responding. Different points of view emerge and evolve – it’s interesting, boyish, beautiful, embarrassing, kind of gross, really gross…as I explore, mirror gazing myself (mirriring).
Finally, they decide to leave me alone for my orgasm. They either leave, and go do something else, or send me off to a space apart from them.
The longterm celibacy paracosm has an analog of this ritual: for some span of time, I can make love to myself, and mirrir, in the presence of others. then I embark on a phase of solitary orgasm only. always in a mirror. as part of this I pause in communicating about the topic; of feeding at all, on the women around me. I actually dive in and provide my full female reflection and correspondence.
I know that I could emerge as anything or anyone from that space. Sometimes when I feel that potential, I can be honest with myself about wanting to drink the semen of many men. I know I can make deep peace with celibacy and swim up to the spawning grounds, where I have glimpsed though not stayed.
So yes. The phase of solitary mirror masturbation is contained in the moment that the three women, who have seen me, acknowledged me, and move on, to the love making of their choice – and I embrace the choosing of myself. Daring even to write these words.
Paracosm or slow seduction.
The one thing I know is that, for now, when I am thirsty for semen, I can make some.
Which endears me to myself.