I can never feel deprived by you if you’re offering me exactly what I want.
I find this liberating from the guilt that I sometimes resented you for not giving me what I wanted, or what you didn’t have. What I love about the current moment of our experience is the perfection of that exchange.
I so wish I could have given you what you want. I didn’t often pause to experience your struggle with not getting that.
I feel humbled to be faced with your satisfaction from a man who sucks you out and I am sure dives his tongue into your vagina just like you want, and who fucks you to deep satisfaction. It is about time you got this, and beyond any lust of my own it is so beautiful to know that this happens to you.
speaking to my original thought.
I can never feel deprived by you if you’re offering me exactly what I want.
my opportunity to heal.
to heal expectation. to heal guilt at my pleasures, shame of imperfection.
I have caught glimpses of what I reflect to you, via my radical excursion into self embrace.
never for a moment did I want to do you harm or cause you pain and I am so sincerely sorry that I ever did.