in one scene I am confronted with their deep down love making – we are all in the same room and I may only see what I see in a mirror and I try to meet my eyes and not look at the reflection of them but I must.
When I find my own eyes my yearning is so much more dear. The lovers remain absorbed in one another all the while. I do not make love to myself while they make love. I hold my space and I focus my breath and try try to witness my eyes. I may lick old pleasure.
Then…to ultimately give to myself…(I wean away from my craving for witnesses) and enter a solitary space and give myself what I need for my own sake only, alone in a room.
But not yet.
I am not ready for that yet. I am ready to indulge within my deepest pool the sensation of She Quest, the woman who says yes, who makes love freely with knowledge that I face myself, that she is my mirror to yearn for myself. That they are my mirror to complete myself.
I embody my femme and crave for male crave for completion and being male provide this for myself.